June 5, 2017 Oh, were Joe and Mika mean to Super Baby DonDon this morning. They made fun of me for saying my travel ban was a “travel ban,” which
Tag: Trump
Hey, Pope, How’s It Hanging?
May 25, 2017 Meeting the pope was such an honor—for him. I bowled him over and want you to know how I did it. Here are some excerpts from our
Most Powerful Man in the World Can’t Get Laid
May 22, 2017 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-melania-trump-swat-donald-away-when-he-tries-to-hold-her-hand_us_5922f66ae4b034684b0e1ffa?qw&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009 Look at the tape, I can’t even get my hand held! This is becoming a national emergency. Super Baby DonDon has two ideas. First, do any
No Relief
May 20, 2017 So in her usual POS New York Times column, Gail “Dog Face” Collins mentions today that I once said Belgium was “a beautiful city.” Well, it should
Roger Ailes Is Still Dead
May 19, 2017 Not only is Roger dead, but now I have to go fly 97,000 miles to meet with a bunch of Muslims who are richer than I am.
I Don’t Want to Go to Prison
May 17, 2017 Super Baby DonDon is scared. I thought this job would be easy, that I could just BS my way through it as I had with everything else.
Why I Said What I Said
May 16, 2017 Oh, get a life you dickturnips! I can disclose whatever I want to the Russians. I can show them anything I want. Here’s how it happened in
Three Stooges
May 10, 2017 Picking a new head for the FBI will be tough. I need someone loyal. I need a stooge. But it is a big, big job. I may
Holocaust Remembrance Day
April 20, 2017 Today is Hitler’s birthday and the White House has received so many cards, you would have thought it was my birthday. Weird. Which reminds me: Monday is
Pick My Next Obama Lie
March 7, 2017 Oh my God, they hate Trumpcare!! Like, everybody hates it. First things first, I had nothing to do with it. It’s not my fault. I blame everybody
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