March 11, 2018 To clarify, people, to clarify: Michael Cohen, my lawyer and body man, carried the $130,000 in a wheelbarrow from the living to the bedroom, where it was
Super Baby DonDon is Your Leader. Bow Down Before Me!
I have an incredible mind, the best mind. Where's my Nobel Prize, God dammit? Oh, that's for later. Anyway, this site will tell you things about me that even I don't know. We're going to have a lot of fun together messing with the country.
March 9, 2018 So this morning, David Iggynacious of the Washington Post, calls me the Wile E. Coyote of foreign policy. Yeah, Iggy, well you’re the Puss E. Snotrag of
Queen for a Day
March 8, 2018 That Queen Elizabeth l, she is one hot mama, that’s all I can say.
Long Story Short
March 8, 2018 I know you’re all wondering about this Stormy Daniels thing. Can I grab some great pussy or what? Why are my lawyers trying so hard to gag
March 7, 2018 So The Mooch was just on CNBC’s Fast Money making like he wants to come back to help diaper Super Baby DonDon. Admittedly, my diaper is always
March 6, 2018 Why do you think I can explain him? What, I have to do everything? I’m busy messing up the entire world and you want to distract me
March 4, 2018 Oh, little people, this is such a sad time for Super Baby DonDon. Hope Hicks left me. John Kelly is getting rid of Jared and Ivanka. Then
That’s the Way the Son-in-Law Crumbles
March 3, 2018 So I called Jared in for a frank talk. “Jared, you’re going to have to go to prison,” I said. “But, Daddy . . .” “Shut up
I Would Have Used My Super Power
February 26, 2018 Did you hear what I told the governors today? That I would have gone after the Parkland shooter even if I didn’t have a gun. Am I
Chip Off the Old Block
February 20, 2018 So Long Dong Jr. arrives in India today. A lot of rich Indians will pay money to have dinner with him. Cool. After dinner, five hookers will
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