March 11, 2018 To clarify, people, to clarify: Michael Cohen, my lawyer and body man, carried the $130,000 in a wheelbarrow from the living to the bedroom, where it was
March 9, 2018 So this morning, David Iggynacious of the Washington Post, calls me the Wile E. Coyote of foreign policy. Yeah, Iggy, well you’re the Puss E. Snotrag of
March 8, 2018 That Queen Elizabeth l, she is one hot mama, that’s all I can say.
March 8, 2018 I know you’re all wondering about this Stormy Daniels thing. Can I grab some great pussy or what? Why are my lawyers trying so hard to gag
March 7, 2018 So The Mooch was just on CNBC’s Fast Money making like he wants to come back to help diaper Super Baby DonDon. Admittedly, my diaper is always
March 6, 2018 Why do you think I can explain him? What, I have to do everything? I’m busy messing up the entire world and you want to distract me
March 4, 2018 Oh, little people, this is such a sad time for Super Baby DonDon. Hope Hicks left me. John Kelly is getting rid of Jared and Ivanka. Then
March 3, 2018 So I called Jared in for a frank talk. “Jared, you’re going to have to go to prison,” I said. “But, Daddy . . .” “Shut up