May 30, 2017 So you probably read about our double-counting that $2 trillion to make our lies about our budget look less like lies. It seems we got caught. How
Month: May 2017
Let the Games Begin!
May 29, 2017 Appropriate, isn’t it, that on Memorial Day I’m about to create a war room? You bet. But first things first. I have announced the start of the
Slumlord Millionaire
May 28, 2017 So after kicking butt in the Middle East and Europe this past week—they won’t want to see me any time soon, that I can tell you—I relaxed
Probing Jared
May 26, 2017 In a preview of what could happen to him in prison, Jared is being probed by the FBI. What really sucks is that by the time he’s
Hey, Pope, How’s It Hanging?
May 25, 2017 Meeting the pope was such an honor—for him. I bowled him over and want you to know how I did it. Here are some excerpts from our
Trump-Johnson Amendment
May 23, 2017 Did you see Super Baby DonDon’s budget? Pretty tough, huh? Gonna make some people cry. Well, whatever budget gets passed, I’m going to attach a Trump-Johnson amendment
Most Powerful Man in the World Can’t Get Laid
May 22, 2017 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/watch-melania-trump-swat-donald-away-when-he-tries-to-hold-her-hand_us_5922f66ae4b034684b0e1ffa?qw&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009 Look at the tape, I can’t even get my hand held! This is becoming a national emergency. Super Baby DonDon has two ideas. First, do any
Shocking News
May 20, 2017 Oh, people, this is sad and shocking news. My pal General Mike Flynn accidentally slit his throat while shaving this morning. “Self-decapitation is a relatively rare cause
No Relief
May 20, 2017 So in her usual POS New York Times column, Gail “Dog Face” Collins mentions today that I once said Belgium was “a beautiful city.” Well, it should
Roger Ailes Is Still Dead
May 19, 2017 Not only is Roger dead, but now I have to go fly 97,000 miles to meet with a bunch of Muslims who are richer than I am.
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