March 11, 2018 To clarify, people, to clarify: Michael Cohen, my lawyer and body man, carried the $130,000 in a wheelbarrow from the living to the bedroom, where it was
March 6, 2018 Why do you think I can explain him? What, I have to do everything? I’m busy messing up the entire world and you want to distract me
February 7, 2018 People, I’m going to have a military parade in D.C.!! Will be tremendous, with 70-ton tanks ripping up Pennsylvania Avenue and missile launchers angled toward the heavens
Porn Stars Are Like Sheep. They Lie.
January 19, 2018 So Stormy Daniels allegedly said I liked to be spanked with a copy of Forbes that had a picture of me and two of my kids on
I am a Staybill JeanYes
January 6, 2018 I am not a chyeld. Not chyeld! Not chyeld!! Not a freakin’ chyeld!!! Was a chyeld, then became JeanYes. Was so staybill got sent to military school.
How Many Ways Can You Say I’m Stupid?
January 4, 2018 The Michael Wolff book proves that my people have the best words. Otherwise, how do you explain their skill at finding synonyms to the word “dumb?”
Because I Can, Baby
January 2, 2018 Started great new tradition yesterday. Went around to all Mar-a-Lago members and guests and said, “How do like those tax cuts?” When they said, “Totally awesome, Super
The Big Words for 2018
December 31, 2017 Well, it’s the last day of the year and my balls are getting ready to drop. 2017 was an incredible year for our country, our world, our
Have Cake. Eat It, Too.
December 26, 2017 Even Vanity Unfair is saying today that my chances of finishing 2018 in office are incredibly high. There is no getting rid of me, people! Yet. But
December 13, 2017 I am so mad at Senator Kirsten “Kneepads” Gillibrand for stirring up this phony cuntroversy. I refer her to the famous author, George Bernie Shore, who said
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