March 8, 2018 I know you’re all wondering about this Stormy Daniels thing. Can I grab some great pussy or what? Why are my lawyers trying so hard to gag
Dead Man Taibbi
September 29, 2017 So Matt Taibbi and Rolling Stone think I belong in a straitjacket? I’m going to shove Taibbi down the blood funnel of a giant vampire squid!
Right Back at You
September 22, 2017 Well, so you have the nerve to call me a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard”? You are a dodotard and a limp-wristed candyass Chihuahua fcker. Your serve.
I’m the Star!!
September 18, 2017 So I took time out of my busy golfing schedule and finally saw Me the People on the Upper West Side. It kind of sucks, but it’s
Toilet Paper Presentation
August 20, 2017 So Rolling Stone has this two-page story on my drill-them-a-new-one minion, Sebastian Gorka. Two pages, that’s so long! I usually don’t read anything that can’t fit on
August 18, 2017 Super Baby DonDon hates being president. The only thing that will make me feel better is if you stay at my hotels and order six bottles of
Who? What? Why?
August 13, 2017 A poem: Does David Duke Have a nuke Like me?
After My Great Week, What’s Next?
July 30, 2017 After this past week, I think we should all count our blessings. I have Steve Bannon and Mooch. You have me.
What the Hell?
July 30, 2017 So in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, Peggy Noonan had a column titled “Trump Is Woody Allen Without the Humor.” It was so vicious it made me want
There is a Time to Suck Up and That Time is NOW
July 22, 2017 Anthony Scaramucci has raised the bar–the sucking up bar, that is. And I will honor him by changing his nickname from Mooch to Smooch. Plus, he’s a
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