Most Powerful Man in the World Can’t Get Laid

May 22, 2017

Look at the tape, I can’t even get my hand held! This is becoming a national emergency.

Super Baby DonDon has two ideas. First, do any of you have a sister, daughter or wife I could borrow occasionally? I have many—oh, so many—government positions to offer an accommodating lady.

Second, I think it’s time I started putting the moves on Mike Flynn’s wife Nikita. Mike’s going to go away for a few decades and she should start planning ahead now.

Will I pardon Mike Flynn? Depends on how much I like Mrs. Flynn.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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