September 30, 2017 So you think Tom Price is a weasel? You’re too kind. Still, we can all learn from weasels. Price’s offer to reimburse the treasury for 12% of
Month: September 2017
Dead Man Taibbi
September 29, 2017 So Matt Taibbi and Rolling Stone think I belong in a straitjacket? I’m going to shove Taibbi down the blood funnel of a giant vampire squid!
The Price Isn’t Right
September 28, 2017 I, Super Baby DonDon, hate distractions. This is the week when job one was to lie to the American people about my new come-to-papa tax plan. But
Great Minds Can Disagree
September 28, 2017 Gary Cohn says my world’s best ever tax plan can pay for itself through growth. I say it can pay for itself through embezzlement. What do you
Yo, God
September 27, 2017 So I congratulated Ray (Roy? RayRay?) Moore on his victory in the Republican primary for senator in Alabama. RoyRoy said he really liked me but he loved
Shemails
September 26, 2017 So Crooked Hillary is calling us out for personal email hypocrisy. Well, if she’s right, why is her first name Crooked? Even Ivanka used her private email
Color War Amnesty
September 25, 2017 It is time for people to take personal responsibility for the color of their skin. I chose to be born a rich white guy. Because I am
On Your Knees like Monica Lewinsky
September 24, 2017 Christ, we freed the slaves and this is the thanks we get? I am so mad I could whip some people. I feel totally disrespected by the
Hey, Rocket Putz
September 24, 2017 Isn’t it outrageous that you’re so fat and most of your people are starving? What’s with that? Also, taking a page from the movie Dunkirk, I’m authorizing
And For My Next Insult
September 23, 2017 Hey, Rocket Man, I’ve just downgraded you to Sprocket Man. Toad the Wet Sprocket Man. Because I hear all your rockets explode way too early to get
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