Have Cake. Eat It, Too.

December 26, 2017

Even Vanity Unfair is saying today that my chances of finishing 2018 in office are incredibly high. There is no getting rid of me, people! Yet.

But there’s one scenario the magazine didn’t consider: the buyout. If people were offering me $800 million to quit after the pussy tape, how much would they pay now after seeing the things I can do??

$4 billion.

Yes, $4 billion. Actually, I think the value of not having me in office is more like $4 trillion but, hey, whatever. Come up with $4 billion in small bills and Big Macs and I am out of here.

Look at it this way: I am president. Most people hate the fact that I’m president. This is the definition of leverage.

Yeah, baby.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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