Mr. Happy!

February 7, 2018

People, I’m going to have a military parade in D.C.!! Will be tremendous, with 70-ton tanks ripping up Pennsylvania Avenue and missile launchers angled toward the heavens like erections of yore! Take that, you little yellow cup of piss!

The Pentagon said they are working on a special salute for the troops to give me during the parade, but it’s all very hush-hush now, code-named Operation Drop Trou.

Below, click on the country you’d like us to attack next.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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