December 8, 2017 I am so proud to have been named president of Social Conservatives United for Molesters, BadBoys, Asshats and Gaybashers (SCUMBAG). The first candidate we’re backing is Roy
Tag: Trump
Word Slurp
December 7, 2017 So now you weasels are accusing me of slurring my words. How dare you? I have the best words! I have the best slurs! Pocahontas!! I have
Prison Tip #2
November 28, 2017 Make friends with your cellmate. If he says he’s John Smith, then you’re Pocahontas. Soon you’ll be yelling, “I’m Pocahontas!” and having barrels of fun with lots
Thank You, White People!
November 23, 2017 You are the grateful people. And you have a lot to be grateful for. Me!!! Okay, pass the white meat.
The Opposite of Strong Is . . . Not Strong!
November 15, 2017 Did you hear me keep saying in Asia that I had “strong” relationships with some very “strong” Asian leaders, like that brilliant singer, Rodrigo Duterte of the
Me, Voldemort?
November 8, 2017 So the New York Times said that Ed “The Biggest Loser” Gillespie treated me like Voldemort in the Virginia governor’s race. He refused to say my name!
What’s with the Lubricant?
October 30, 2017 First things first, I don’t know George PopAcropolis. Yes, I once said he was one of my five foreign policy advisers, but I said Carter Page was
Peggy Knew-None and Sarah Palin
October 22, 2017 Yesterday, the Wall Street Journal ran Peggy KnewNone’s column titled “Trump May Be Following Palin’s Trajectory.” Not gonna happen, not gonna happen. She says I may follow
I Won a Baggie!
October 19, 2017 Wow, disrespecting a Gold Star widow and then calling her a liar while also lying about Obama and other presidents and stiffing a Gold Star father,
When Stocks Go High, I Go Low!
October 17, 2017 Great, great day yesterday. Stock market hit new all-time-we-love-trump-trump-is-all-good-things-I-wish-I-could-feel-his-large-hands-on-my-body high AND I slimed my predecessor, the Negro community organizer, and other presidents for not calling the families
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