July 19, 2016 We did see a tall, slim, unidentified black man lurking at our campaign headquarters.
Month: July 2016
Illegal Aliens
July 19, 2016 Our final, final plagiarism explanation.
Our Latest Explanation
July 19, 2016 After many thoroughly dishonest attempts to dodge the plagiarism rap, we have finally settled on our final deceitful explanation. And, yes, it was all Hillary’s fault. The
We Did Nothing Wrong
July 19, 2016 Okay, you liberal fopdoodles, I can hear you gloating and high-fiving. Stop it! Last night was going beautifully—we were scaring the holy crap out of everyone, even
Dread Scott
July 18, 2016 Baby DonDon here again, just taking a trip down memory lane with Scott Baio. You know, folks, I’ve never had a drink or used drugs. Some people
Welcome Scott Baio!
July 18, 2016 In Howl Allen Ginsberg wrote: “I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness . . . .” and tonight we will see Scott Baio
Melania and Scott Baio!!
July 18, 2016 People can be so cruel. Here I am, basking in the glow of my convention’s opening night, waiting, like Abe Lincoln, to hear the first reports about
The Eve of Destruction
July 17, 2016 So the convention starts tomorrow in Cleveland—the mistake on the lake—but I don’t want to talk about that. People keep asking me for death toll estimates. I
The Name Game
July 16,2016 Ann Coulter said picking Mike Pence was my first mistake, so I was up at 4 A.M. tweeting insults to her. Talk about coals to Newcastle. I told
Turkey Sandwich
July 15, 2016 The coup in Turkey was Obama’s fault. The failure of the coup was Obama’s fault. He is a turkey. Thank you.
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