When Stocks Go High, I Go Low!

October 17, 2017

Great, great day yesterday. Stock market hit new all-time-we-love-trump-trump-is-all-good-things-I-wish-I-could-feel-his-large-hands-on-my-body high AND I slimed my predecessor, the Negro community organizer, and other presidents for not calling the families of fallen soldiers.

You better hope the market keeps going up. If it goes down, I may have to start a war.

The New Yorker disclosed yesterday that Mike Pence’s childhood nickname was “Bubbles.” Just one more piece of evidence that Mike is gay. So if you get rid of me, Mike will pass a total gay agenda. Just sayin’.

Bubbles? Really? You can’t make this stuff up.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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