The Oscars Were a Horror Show!

February 27, 2017

So, those radical asstards in Hollywood think they can dump on Trump all night and there won’t be consequences? I know people at PricewaterhouseCoopers. You think the snafu with the Best Picture announcement was an accident? Hah! Made that liberal ex-stud Warren Beatty look like a total LOSER. And Faye Dunaway, what happened to her face? Is she in witness protection and trying not to look like Faye Dunaway?

And the nerve of the Academy for giving so many awards to the blacks—wouldn’t two have been enough?—but neglecting the work of Dr. Ben Carson, my African-American. Shame! I cry shame! Some of the black winners will have accidents, mark my words. If they set foot in Chicago, they’re as good as dead. Hey, everyone who sets foot in Chicago is as good as dead. Chicago is a disaster.

The Academy is a disaster! And Jimmy Kimmel? There’s a movie about him. It’s called Dead Man Walking. You just watch.

Spoiler alert: Rosebud is the sled. Screw you.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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