Thank God for Me!

December 29, 2017

So yesterday the failing New York Times called and said, “Oh, please Your Wonderfulness, Your Fabulosity, You Winner of Club Golfing Championships, we are one day away from oblivion, would you please in your infinite lovingkindness grant us an interview before we become roadkill?”

Being an amazingly glorious person, I did. They asked if I had hurt myself playing golf and I said 16 times, “There is no contusion! There is no contusion!”

They asked if I understood what was in my fabulous tax bill and I said 16 times, “There is no confusion! There is no confusion!”

Then they said they would put in the paper 16 times that there was no collusion with Russia as long as I picked up lunch because they had no money for food.


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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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