June 7, 2017

So Michael Sissykoff of Yahoo News is out with a horrible story that no top lawyers will represent Super Baby DonDon. Lies! All lies!

Sissykoff quotes some anonymous source—who doesn’t exist, obviously—as saying that the view of me is “the guy won’t pay and he won’t listen.” So?

Here’s how I roll with lawyers: if you get me off, I pay. Same as my rule with escorts. You pee, I pay.

And I also want to negotiate a package deal, one lawyer to represent me and another to sue me later if I don’t pay. Anything less would be so unfair.

So, you big-shot litigators, could there be a more challenging case than defending me? Hello? Hello? I’m talking to you.

Anyone have the number for Jacoby & Meyers?

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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