February 19, 2018 Spent last night hate-tweeting Oprah. Attacking a woman who also happens to be black is just the best.
February 18, 2018 So, okay, Mueller indicted 13 Russians. But did he say anything about the 144,300,000 Russians he didn’t indict, many of whom are wonderful people, including one person
February 16, 2018 I just spoke to all 13 Russians indicted for election interference and they said, “Hey, DonDon, nice to speak to you again. As you know, there was
February 14, 2018 The failing, railing New York Times reports that my pit bull, slimeball personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid $130,000 to Stormy Daniels out of his own pocket. Yes!
February 12, 2018 Hey, hey, today is Abe Lincoln’s birthday! I want to apologize to the old coot for outclassing him and surpassing him in so many ways. I am
Feb. 11, 2018 Men hit women because women say men hit them. If they didn’t say it, there would be no problem. It’s a chicken and omelet kind of thing.
February 8, 2018 Rubber hoses, baby, rubber hoses.
February 7, 2018 People, I’m going to have a military parade in D.C.!! Will be tremendous, with 70-ton tanks ripping up Pennsylvania Avenue and missile launchers angled toward the heavens
February 3, 2018 The hashtag I helped promote, #ReleaseTheMemo, has just won me another award! It has won the Most Excremental Hashtag–the coveted MEH–from the Union of GastroHashtagologists! Thanks to
February 1, 2018 Some of you idiots are kicking up a pissssstorm (how the hell do you use spelchek anyway?) because Devin Nunes’ hometown paper has called him a “Trump