I Would Have Used My Super Power

February 26, 2018

Did you hear what I told the governors today? That I would have gone after the Parkland shooter even if I didn’t have a gun. Am I pseudo-brave or what?

I would have used my super power, which is lying, against the shooter. I would have told him that I was in a tank with a flamethrower. And that a 1,000 troops were with me. And that we had a catapult and were going to launch Wilbur Ross at face.

The shooter would have wet his pants, that I can tell you.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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