Yes, I Use Cover-Up

March 30, 2017

Hey, what can I say, Super Baby DonDon has been busy so I’ve been out of touch. I’ve been on a 10-day Taco Bowl cleanse. Intense!! Cleans you out like nobody’s business. Christ, I’ve been flowing like the Rio Grande.

Speaking of liquids, can that Devin Nunes carry water or what? Unfortunately, my Gunga Din got caught getting his don’t-look-there-look-HERE distractifatory info from the White House, so now people are attacking him for conducting the most obvious cover-up in history. (Sorry, Devin, that title will always belong to me.) Frank Bruni of the New York Times said Rep. Nunes might be a “complete boob.” Folks, I know one or TWO things about boobs and, from where I sit, Devin the Incomplete looks a little light in the lingerie. Bruni also quoted some asswipe as saying of Nunes that “No one is asking him to bring the potato salad to the Mensa picnic.”

Does anyone even know what that means? Elitist idiots. Nunes went to the College of the Sequoias, which is, like, one of the best colleges named for sequoias.

Look you Timesbaggers, when I change the libel laws, you’ll be sorry.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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