Unfair to Bill O’Reilly, So Unfair!

April 2, 2017

When the New York Times puts the word “masturbating” on its front page, you know it’s going to be a bad day for someone at Fox.

And this morning it was Bill O’Reilly’s turn in the barrel.

The paper said $13 million has been paid out to six women with sexual harassment complaints against the brilliant host. What a crock. I don’t care if the Times said 50 women had come forward, or 500 women, or 500,000 women. If the number was in the New York Times, it’s a lie. It’s fake news. Fake news!

Besides, and I told this to my good friend, handsome Bill O’Reilly, if a man has phone sex with you it is a compliment. It is a very high compliment. I have never had phone sex with Angela Merkel because, well, she doesn’t deserve it.

One woman who sued said O’Reilly told her he would make any woman who complained about his behavior “pay so dearly that she’ll wish she had never been born.” So?

I’m the man who taught Bill the scorched-earth negotiating strategy. He’s a happy graduate of Trump University School of Nuclear Retaliation, which was a metaphor way back when but now, well, you never know.

So, give ‘em hell, Bill, give ‘em hell. You can beat your awful, liberal, bimboid detractors with one hand tied behind your back—or wherever.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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