This You Will Not Believe


October 17, 2016

Several important updates for you fans who know this election is RIGGED, it is so freakin’ RIGGED. We are now selling Hillary for Prison buttons on our website. Our online Assault Weapons for Poll-Watchers program will start soon.

Despite being on a constant IV drip of uppers and hallucinogens, Rudy Giuliani continues to support our cause effectively. Yesterday he told Jake Tapper that crooked inner-city election thieves “leave dead people on the rolls, and then they pay people to vote those dead people, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine times. Dead people generally vote Democratic.”

Is that a scandal or what?

Earlier this year, Alex Jones of Infowars revealed that Michelle Obama was transgender. Well, I’m not running against Michelle Obama, so I let that slide. But now I’ve learned something truly shocking.

Hillary Clinton is a man.

Does this explain why Bill Clinton cheated? It sure does. When he learned that Hillary had a penis, he went a-roving. Why did it take him time to find out? Did you ever see The Crying Game? M. Butterfly? Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult?

There is a reason she wears pants all the time and I will expose her at the debate on Wednesday night. She’s as much of a dick as I am. It should be amazing television.

And then there is this, Republican campaign maven Mike Murphy saying truly evil, whacked-out things to the Washington Post-Apocalypse: “I think Trump is right: The shackles have been released, but they were the shackles of reality. Trump has now shifted to a mode of complete egomaniacal self-indulgence. If he’s going to go off with these merry alt-right pranksters and only talk to people who vote Republican no matter what, he’s going to lose the election substantially.”

I have it on good authority that Mike Murphy is a woman.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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