October 16, 2016
Great day for Baby DonDon! No bitches came forward to accuse me of unwanted groping, fondling, kissing or penetration! Hallelujah! Oh, the sounds of silence can be so beautiful. My thanks to all those women with the good taste not to remember what Baby DonDon did to them all those years ago. Well, they remember, obviously, but privately rather than publicly. That could make all the difference.
That’s the good news. On the down side, there’s a new Rolling Stone article by Matt “The
Big Meanie” Taibbi that is rather rude to Baby DonDon. He says: “Keeping up with Trump revelations is exhausting. By late October, he’ll be caught whacking it outside a nunnery. There are not many places left for this thing to go that don’t involve kids or cannibalism. We wait, miserably, for the dong shot.”
And a big one it will be, that I can tell you.
Taibbi also says I have become “the mother of all pop-culture villains, a globally despised cross of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, Charlie Sheen and Satan.”
Well, you’re one, too!
The New York End-Times suggested today I am shortchanging my own campaign, that I’m $44 million away from giving the $100 million I unfortunately promised. What’s my campaign going to do, sue me? (Well, you and I both know they could give me my third Stiffie Award of the year, although some might call that self-dealing.) Speaking of self-dealing, the Times mentions this American Horizons PAC behind a “Dinner with Donald” promotion I never authorized. This 25-year-old kid running it has raised over $1 million and he has given my crusade to save the world only $12,000. A much bigger chunk has gone in consulting fees to a company he owns.
This is an outrage, although it sounds like something I would do. Talk about finding your apprentice! After the election, I’ll look into hiring the douchebag.