The Worst Book Ever


August 30, 2016

So the New York End Times says Crooked Hillary will try to shake my sunny temperament at the first debate. Good luck with that, you turdmuffin douchemonger, you disgrace to humanity, you screeching lunatic diseased criminal harpy enabler who should be locked up FOREVER.

Well, that’s better.

Speaking of insults, Baby DonDon wants to alert you to a new comic novel called Four Score and Seven, which is available at, thanks to Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, that lowest form of life. It has a character based on me and is a truly horrible book. I’m going to sue the author back to the Stone Age.

The author is Andrew Feinberg, who allegedly writes this blog. BS, Feinberg, I write this blog! These are Baby DonDon’s golden words and no one else’s. Shame on you for trying to take credit for these beautiful words, you trollopduster.

I am my own man! I am my own boy! I am Baby DonDon!

So this novel imagines that Abe Lincoln has come back to life for the 2016 campaign. And Abe hates Ronald Crockenstock, the character based on ME. He calls Crockenstock the worst major party candidate in U.S. history. He says Crockenstock is “a loser.” I’m also going to sue Abe Lincoln, that I can tell you.

[Mr. DonDon, you do not write this blog. I do.]

Lies, lies, lies! You lie. Just watch what I say now, you fraud.

In the book, this lying Feinberg dweeb has made me a pay toilet mogul who runs a company called Pay As You Go. Would a classy guy like me, the founder of Trump University and the husband of former nude model Melania–nice pictures, huh?–ever do something so crass? Of course not. For all his capitalist success, Crockenstock is known as “the turd mogul.” That is not funny! That is so not funny!

Now, I haven’t read this filthy book but my staff has and they tell me that haters of Trump will love it. That’s so unfair. Who could hate Baby DonDon, a person who just wants to do what’s best for his country and, taxwise, what’s best for his family and his rich friends?

The only reason to look at this tawdry excuse of a book is to see if it’s the worst book ever written. I suspect it is. And, unlike The Art of the Deal, the bible of smart entrepreneurs, it does not tell you how to make money in the casino business.

The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

Latest posts by Andrew Feinberg (see all)