April 13, 2017
Super Baby DonDon’s favorite TV show? Flip or Flop. Sometimes I flip, sometimes I flop, but I almost always flip-flop. As my Russian friends would say, mine is the Never Mindski presidency.
And now a poem:
If I said it
By the end of my presidency—which could come in a year or a month—I will have set a record by contradicting everything I said during the campaign. No other president has ever had the guts to do that. But Super Baby DonDon is not like any other president. I am strong enough to admit I was completely full of shit during the campaign.
In just the last two days, I have reversed myself on six key positions! The Chinese are not currency manipulators. Low interest rates are good, not bad. NATO is not obsolete. I might reappoint Janet Yellen as head of the Fed. I like the Export-Import Bank, although in a show of strength I will rename it the Import-Export Bank. And there’s no freakin’ way I’m going to balance the budget.
I can’t believe I said so many stupid things during the campaign. But people bought it. Amazing.
All this has taught me one thing above all: if my base thinks something is a good idea it almost definitely isn’t. To them I say a very big and very fond Never Mindski.