Carter? Carter Page? You Mean Jimmy Carter?

April 12, 2017

So the Washington Post reports today that the FBI got a FISA warrant to tap Carter Page’s phone during the campaign.

No problem for me. I don’t know who Carter Page is.

The fact that I said he was advising me on foreign policy during the campaign means squat. So now you’re going to hold Super Baby DonDon to things he said? How stupid. When I said I knew him I was speaking metaphorically. Like when the U.S. Navy said Page was an “intelligence officer,” they were being ironic.

Now, the article did say that Russian agent Victor Podobnyy called Page “an idiot” who “wants to earn lots of money,” so, clearly, he’s Super Baby DonDon’s kind of guy, but that doesn’t mean there are any flies on me.

Perhaps there’s confusion here because Page looks like a less vicious Corey Lewandowski. In fact, I thought he was Corey Lewandowski working under an assumed name.

I know Corey Lewandowski, but I don’t know Carter Page. Or Paul Manafort. Or Roger Stone. Or a person named Golden Shauer. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

For now.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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