The Birds and the Bees





August 11, 2016

Is this a great father/daughter photo or what? Here is my little Ivanka at age 15 at Mar-a-Lago and you can just see how crazy she is about her Dad. (Notice that sculpted birds in the photo are getting busy, if you know what I mean.) Looking at this picture, you can understand why I said 10 years later on national TV that “if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” Hey, no harm, no foul. Any babe magnet with a foxy daughter would say the same. If he were being honest.

And there is no more important part of the Trump brand than honesty.

Except money.

And stiffing small contractors when you can.

And making America great again—except for the contractors you’ve chosen not to pay.

Note: a Baby DonDon supporter posted this photo in February and prayed it was photoshopped. Sorry, pal, can’t say it was. It appeared in Vanity Fair in 1996.

So, people, admit it, admit it to Baby DonDon: you envy me even more now. Model wives (traded up and out), a model daughter—there is just T&A and strategic enhancements all over the place.

And don’t forget the birds.

Life is good—except for all those goddamn rigged polls that keep coming out! Paulie, help. I need help now, Paulie!

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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