Take That, Rome

July 19, 2017

Why shouldn’t I have appointed frozen-faced, zombie-eyed Callista Gingrich as ambassador to the Vatican? If Pope Francis doesn’t like the fact that she carried on a six-year extramarital affair with the Newtster, screw him. Hey, she got Newt to become a Catholic, which has to count for something.

Her testimony yesterday reminded everyone of Betsy DeVos. Her hair was perfect. In fact, she spent so much time on her hair that she wasn’t ready for any of the questions. (Oh, think I’m being sexist? Blow me.) She said she had “looked at some of” Pope Francis’s encyclical on climate change. She said I was determined to be an environmental leader. She BS-ed her way through every question, which I took as a supreme compliment to her employer, His Exalted Super Baby DonDon.

And, really, are you going to complain about an appointment that gets Newt Gingrich out of the country?

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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