June 22, 2017
You people, in your halting way, are trying to tell me things and I am listening. People, I am your ears!
And you’re saying that the most surprising thing about my incredible, best-ever-so-bite-me administration was revealed this week and it is: Jared Kushner’s teeny weeny tiny whiny voice. He sounds like he’s five and just learned he’s not getting a pony after all. How can this be?
Damned if I know. I got him a pony as a wedding present but it didn’t help. Naturally, I asked Ivanka if this wasn’t a problem for her, especially in the sack.
“That’s why we use the ball gag, Daddy,” she said.
Do you have an extra one for Elizabeth Warren?
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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.
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