August 3, 2017
Super Baby DonDon has had no time for playdates recently because he’s been so busy fielding imaginary phone calls from the head of the Boy Scouts and president of Mexico. Wait, I just got an email from a former Nigerian oil minister. No kidding. Okay, I just invested $2 billion of your money. You’ll thank me later. I am so good with money!!
Both the New York Times and the Amazon Washington Post have stories today about the amazing bull market in stocks. I am responsible! Brokers report that almost everyone buying stock talks about me. The men say, “I love Trump and want to buy stock. I love his hair, his man boobs and the fact that his waistline is expanding at a rate even faster than the stock market.” The women say, “He is a manly man and I love him. He’s such a bad boy! I want to buy lots of stock and fantasize about him sinking a putt on my golf course, if you get my drift.”