Kimchi Doctrine

August 9, 2017

Yeah, you’re smiling now, lardass.

Was I presidential yesterday or what? Fire and fury, baby, fire and fury! Me, fire and fury–my favorite threesome.

Next, I am going to rage-tweet Kim Jong-un into submission. I will call him apocalyptically ugly and say he has a face like a nuclear blast site. I mean, the man-boy has hair that is an embarrassment to every North Korean. And North Koreans do not embarrass easily.

I will call him a Nancy boy and say that we will aim our bombs at his testicles. Speaking of which, I have ordered our military to paint my face on all of our nukes.

Talk about an upgrade!

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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