November 3, 2016

JFK’s presidency was known as Camelot. Mine will be called Scamalot.

People don’t understand why I like Vlad “Hey, The Pecs on Me” Putin. It’s not so much that I admire his authoritarian style—although I do, and killing journalists is just so cool—but it’s his skill as a businessman I find inspirational.

Vlad believes in public/private equity. When he gives a state company to an oligarch, he takes a stake, because he is a risk taker, a true entrepreneur. Vlad has done this so well that some people think he’s the richest man on the planet. He had the government spend $1 billion to build his palace on the Black Sea. It takes talent and vision to get so rich and be able to say, “My en suite master bath has a bowling alley.” I should know because, hey, I’m not that rich.


In my first term, I think I can clear $1 trillion. You want a government contract? Baby DonDon can help. You want to build an apartment building? I can consult. Make that I will consult.

Mall? Parking lot? Subdivision? Outhouse? I am there for you, willing to share all my knowledge (after your check clears).

You know how in health care the middlemen grab a lot of the money and drive costs up? Well, Baby DonDon will eliminate the middleman when the Trump Organization builds the Better Trump White House right next to my new D.C. hotel.

Want to be a subcontractor?


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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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