Prison Tip #8: Sex in Prison

December 4, 2017

 You will have more sex in prison than you are having now.

 Well, all right! Get me in there.

Soon, Super Baby DonDon, soon. And remember, having sex with men in prison doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you’re flexible.

But what about those conjugated visits? Hubba hubba, yes?

Hubba hubba, no. Melania will not be visiting. She’ll be dating an illegal immigrant and/or Steve Bannon.

Steve Bannon! Maybe I shouldn’t have committed all those felonies. Could I get a do-over?

Sure. Your prison husband Leroy “Roto-Rooter” Samson is here now. He is ready for a do-ever.


The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

Latest posts by Andrew Feinberg (see all)