Prison Tip #6

December 2, 2017

Hide your emotions.


People who’ve been in prison—and, hey, after Flynn’s deal yesterday, I know that’s where I’m headed—say that if you want to look tough, don’t show any emotions. No fear, anger, happiness or pain.

If six guys try to drill you a new asshole, just roll with it. A polite “thank you” should suffice.

If you can’t get a Big Mac for 10 years, don’t get upset.

If your cellmate starts calling you “Ethel,” stay calm.

Oh, this should go really well for Super Baby DonDon, really, really well.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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