January 5, 2018 People, I have the best lemons. Also the most lemons. Actually, nothing but lemons. Speaking of lemons, we learn in Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury that both
Super Baby DonDon is Your Leader. Bow Down Before Me!
I have an incredible mind, the best mind. Where's my Nobel Prize, God dammit? Oh, that's for later. Anyway, this site will tell you things about me that even I don't know. We're going to have a lot of fun together messing with the country.
How Many Ways Can You Say I’m Stupid?
January 4, 2018 The Michael Wolff book proves that my people have the best words. Otherwise, how do you explain their skill at finding synonyms to the word “dumb?”
Oh, This Is Really, Really, Really Bad
January 3, 2018 So Steve “The President” Bannon is quoted in this new Michael Wolff book called Fire and Fury (hey, he’s quoting me, which must mean I’m really important)
Great New Idea
January 3, 2018 So I just told that fat ugly midget asswipe Rocket Putz that my nuclear button was bigger. My big new idea is that every day from now
Because I Can, Baby
January 2, 2018 Started great new tradition yesterday. Went around to all Mar-a-Lago members and guests and said, “How do like those tax cuts?” When they said, “Totally awesome, Super
Happy F-ing New Year
January 1, 2018 So I was happy for about 17 seconds today. Then I read the Palmer Report (http://www.palmerreport.com/opinion/heres-who-all-is-going-to-prison-in-2018/7061/). If you forward this to anybody, I’ll have you killed. So
The Big Words for 2018
December 31, 2017 Well, it’s the last day of the year and my balls are getting ready to drop. 2017 was an incredible year for our country, our world, our
I Am Not a Robot!
December 30, 2017 So yesterday this idiot at Disney World started chanting “Lock him up” at my robot in the Hall of Presidents. How rude to remind me in this
Thank God for Me!
December 29, 2017 So yesterday the failing New York Times called and said, “Oh, please Your Wonderfulness, Your Fabulosity, You Winner of Club Golfing Championships, we are one day away
Have Cake. Eat It, Too.
December 26, 2017 Even Vanity Unfair is saying today that my chances of finishing 2018 in office are incredibly high. There is no getting rid of me, people! Yet. But
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