November 4, 2017

So I told my staff I wanted to learn a Japanese phrase to impress my hosts tonight. “Teach me how to say, ‘Is there dog in that crap you’re serving me?’”

Folks, I speak American and it came out, “How much for my daughter?”

Prime Minister Abe quickly replied, “To rent or to buy?”

Faster than you can say, “I think my soup is barking,” I said, “$10 million a month, with an option to buy for $2 billion at any time.”

“You have a deal, oh great negotiator,” Abe said.

So, Jared, Ivanka will be moving to Japan very soon just as you’re heading to a federal medium-security man/boy love center near you. Wow, and my trip is just getting started.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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