Oh, Sweet Jesus


August 21, 2016

Yes, yes, that’s Michele Bachmann, the Sarah Palin of the lower 48. On Friday night she announced she’s advising me on foreign policy as well as evangelical outreach. Thank you so much. Yes, it’s true, but only selected groups of crazies were supposed to know. She’s great with the crazies. The problem is how she is with everybody else.

I agree with Michele that vaccinations cause everything bad, but the twit is obsessed with “the rapture” and thinks Obama’s foreign policy could bring it about. Some find her eagerness for the afterlife unnerving.

Last fall Michele said Jesus is ‘coming soon.” She told Christians to convert the masses, including Jews. Sheldon Adelson was not amused. And when Sheldon is not amused, I am not amused.

Listen, Sheldon and everybody with a brain, we’re not letting Michele talk to anyone who was schooled outside the home—except Ben Carson, and I don’t see how that counts. If you didn’t go to the high school of Mom and Dad, you won’t hear a peep from Michele.

She’s an effective weapon with the nutjobs, but she could blow up in our faces if she contacts anyone else. That might lead to a mini-rapture, which is not something I want.

Are my surrogates a bunch of loons or is that just me?

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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