Now That I Respect!


November 6, 2016

That lapdog Jim Comey of the FBI just rolled over for Crooked Hillary, saying the 650,000 emails found on pervert Anthony Weiner’s computer were all kosher. Nothing to see here, folks.

So, what, nothing but 650,000 dick pics and responses to said inappropriate anatomical displays? (I do my displaying in private, if you know what I mean.)

BS, Mr. G man, BS.

Comey’s Clinton Collusion means we’ll go with Roger Stone’s plan B, some Election Day mayhem and bloodshed I’ll tell you about tomorrow.

But first, while Baby DonDon still has your attention—like that’s gonna last—let me ask: Was Melania’s speech last week great? In it she asked, “What kind of country do we want?”

And I answered, “One where strong white men can brag about grabbing anonymous pussy whenever we want.”

And then she said, “Do we want a country that respects women . . . ?” and I said, “Didn’t I just answer that question?”

Sorry, that was too glib. Here’s where Baby DonDon stands: Women are bimbos, but it’s not right to make them feel like bimbos. You have to make them feel respected, even though they’re not.

Anyway, then Melania said, “We need to teach our youth American values: kindness, honesty, respect, compassion, charity, understanding, cooperation.”

Blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah, honesty, like that’s my middle name. Donald Fucking Honesty Trump.

Then Melania said, “Our culture has gotten too mean and too rough” and said she’d focus on this problem when she’s First Lady.

Hah! Does she think waterboarding is mean? Does she think death squads are too rough? “Ooh, Baby DonDon, your gulag is so mean.” Give me a break. But, hey, great speech, honey.

Guess no one told her the theme of my Inaugural Address will be “Never Too Late to Hate.”

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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