December 5, 2016
You now know me as Super Baby DonDon but, just between us, I really know I’m not a superhero. Except in my dreams.
And did I have a doozy last night. I dreamt I could say anything and do anything without being criticized. I dreamt I could just absolutely make stuff up and everyone would believe me. It was so beautiful. In my dream I was . . . CAPTAIN BULLSHIT!
In the dream, being able to bullshit was the ultimate super power. I told Superman he was a weakling and then flicked him across the room with my finger. I told the Flash he was slow as molasses and then he started to move like me trying to pick up a check. I went up to Wonder Woman and grabbed her pussy and she said, “Oh, it’s you, Captain Bullshit. Whatever you say goes.”
So then I woke up and made Ben “Who Ordered the Fruit Salad?” Carson secretary of Housing and Urban Development.
Folks, I gotta make up some new hats. It is time to Make Bullshit Great Again.