September 16, 2016
We all need a break from the birther crap and Baby DonDon will give you an amazing one. You’ll be a fly on the wall for a chat I had yesterday with my non-adviser adviser friend Roger Ailes, my favorite special-needs heterosexual.
So, non-adviser Roger, I heard you’re up for an award this year.
Yeah, Baby DonDon, I’ve been nominated for Media Sex Creep of the Year. But I’m up against Bill Cosby so I’ll probably lose.
I don’t know, non-adviser Roger, you might deserve it more.
Well, Baby DonDon, it’s out of my groping hands for now. But I wanted to tell you about a different demographic the campaign should target: sex workers. And I think I can be a great help here.
Aren’t all women sex workers?
At Fox, sure, if I had anything to do with it.
(Non-adviser Roger and I then laughed long—and hard—at that one.)
How DID you find so many blondes, non-adviser Roger?
It’s not as easy as you think. They have to be hot and smart—but not too smart. I think I made a mistake with Megyn Kelly. She was too smart to play ball.
I’ll say! What a bimbo.
Well, Baby DonDon, you just hired a blonde of your own, Kellyanne Conway. She’s not good-looking enough for Fox. She’s not a Fox fox, but she lies really well. Very credible. Have you gotten her to twirl?
Not yet, non-adviser Roger, but we still have 54 days until the election. Besides, I’ve got those old pictures of Melania to look at.
If you lose, will Melania have a show on your new alt-right TV network consolation prize?
As long as she obeys me, she can do whatever she wants.
That’s what makes you da man, Baby DonDon. You da man. Okay, let’s go make up some garbage about Hillary.