Pimping the Media


September 16, 2016

So right after my birther announcement this morning, Roland Martin went on MSNBC and said I had “pimped the media.”

He was wrong. I actually triple-pimped the media. Oh, these media people are so freakin’ stupid.

With the lure of a birther press conference, I got them to cover a parade of decorated vets praising ME, Baby DonDon. And they let me begin by hyping the wonders of my new DC hotel. And to listen to my lies about the birther issue—that Hillary started it and I finished it—without asking me why this just occurred to me and would I be issuing an apology.

Baby DonDon is a triple threat. All hail Baby DonDon!

Am I da man? You da man, Baby DonDon! YES! YES! YES!

So will I ever apologize?


Unless it would help me.

This whole pimping thing makes me think of Robert Costa of the Washington Post-Apocalypse. I play Costa like a violin. Costa is the ultimate access whore. I know he wants to rip me a new one when he appears on MSNBC—and I just love watching him squirm as he stifles all the nasty things he’d love to say, it’s so much fun—but he can’t because then I’d discard him like a used wife. Be civil, Costa, or no more access for you, buddy.

Who da man? You da man, Baby DonDon.

The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

Latest posts by Andrew Feinberg (see all)