December 29, 2016
Brace yourself, fellow citizens. To symbolize how big a change Super Baby DonDon will make to the nation, today I’m introducing the images that will grace U.S. currency starting January 21. In ascending order, you will see the new image for the $1 bill (sorry, George), the $5 bill (bye, Abe), the $10 bill (Alexander, you need more than a hit show to keep your spot), the $20 bill (Andy Jackson, you were toast anyway) and the $100 bill (no need to keep calling this a Benjamin).
So what should you do with the old currency you’ll no longer need? Mail it to:
President Donald J. Trump
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, DC 20500
The money you send in will be applied to tuition payments at Trump University.