July 11, 2017
My lawyer has told me to get out in front of this story, so here goes. Mr. Mueller, here is what I propose:
On a silver platter complete with documents and “tapes,” I will hand you my sons (Don Jr., Eric and Barron), Melania (this is what you get for swatting my hand away, you Slovenian trollop), Jared (hey, Squeal-Like-a-Pig, that high squeaky voice ought to go over real well in prison), Mike Pence (how do you feel about dining alone with a man named Crusher?), Manafort, Flynn, Carter Page (keep smiling, Carter, heh heh), Roger Stone, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway/Sarah Huckabee Sanders (oh, this twofer ought to so popular that maybe, post-resignation, I could mount the ultimate comeback and win in 2020!) and everyone named Steve.
Oh yeah, and Tiffany.
What do I want? Ivanka, Mar-a-Lago and a cybersecurity partnership with Russia. Oh, and my money. Send my money to Mar-a-Lago and I will follow it.
And, people, always remember: the most important virtue in business and politics is loyalty.