Toilet Paper Presentation

August 20, 2017

So Rolling Stone has this two-page story on my drill-them-a-new-one minion, Sebastian Gorka. Two pages, that’s so long! I usually don’t read anything that can’t fit on a single sheet of toilet paper.

But I will point out some of the things the vicious article got wrong. First, it neglected to say that Sebastian Gorka was a founding member of The Lovin Spoonful. This is an outrage. And it said that in Hungary “he was enmeshed in a web of ultraright, anti-Semitic and even Nazi-like parties, politicians and media outlets.”

Well, well, well. Do you know how hard it is to pal around with Nazis without actually becoming a Nazi? Gorka never became a Nazi. He deserves so much credit for that, so much credit. That alone would make him a great man, plus the fact that he says “fake news” even more than I do.

Finally, one asshat professor said “He might as well have mail-ordered his Ph.D,” while another double-triple asshat professor said “Gorka’s thesis is about as legitimate as if he had been awarded it by Trump University.”

Oh, the horror! I am going to sue that professor for $7 trillion, which I will use to make the linings of my pockets great again.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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