Baby DonDon Facetimes Pookie Bannon

October 13, 2017

Facetimed Steve “Pookie” Bannon last night and here’s an excerpt for you weasels:

Dear Leader Super Baby DonDon: I miss you, Pookie.

Pookie: Yeah. Looks like you need me, DonDon.

DLSBDD: Who knew governing was so complicated? But did you see how I stuck it to the press and the poor people on Osamacare yesterday? That should light a Roman candle in the base’s ass, no?

Pookie: Fire ‘em up, baby! Blow it up, knock ‘em down! But you know NBC doesn’t have a license you can take away?

DLSBDD: Huh? What? Duh? Where? Why? Couldn’t we give them a new license and then take it away?

Pookie: Maybe, DonDon. I see you’re still way outside the box. I’ll get back to you on that.

DLSBDD: Pookie, could you show me one of your man boobs like old times?

Pookie: Yes.

DLSBDD: I meant the other one.

Pookie: Okay.

DLSBDD: Ah, that’s nice. I get so lonely. Pookie, are you really going to primary every Republican senator who isn’t named Ted Cruz?

Pookie: You bet. We’ve got a farm team of crazies like you wouldn’t believe. Witches, white supremacists, werewolves, all-around douchebags. You think Roy Moore is a loon? What til you see what I can dig up. Blow it up, baby, blow it all up.

DLSBDD: When I give the State of the Union speech, could I be the designated survivor?

Pookie: Sure. You are the calm before the storm, DonDon, the calm before the storm.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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