You Attack Ivanka, You Attack America!

February 9, 2017

Nordstrom, you’re about as American as North Korea! Following your shameful ditching of my daughter Ivanka’s beautiful products, no one should shop at your stores. Maybe I’ll have my spineless buddies Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell pass a law making it a crime to shop at Nordstrom. Spend ten dollars, get ten years! I can do this! Hey, I got elected. Anything can happen.

Well, yesterday Kellyanne told Fox and Friends that everyone should run out and buy Ivanka’s line. And now House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz—of all people—says he’s going to investigate Kellyanne for an ethics violation, like that’s a thing all of a sudden. Jason, stick to investigating Crooked Hillary like a good boy. You’re a presidential appointee. I can have your job. (Oh, you mean he’s elected? Who would elect Jason Chaffetz? You’re kidding, right? What kind of country is this?)

 And if you’re a lover of truth and Kellyanne—well, I guess you can pull a muscle trying to love both at the same time—check out this Randy Rainbow video link Funny stuff. I mean, watch it, laugh and plotz. That’s an order.

The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

Latest posts by Andrew Feinberg (see all)