Why Angry White Women Say They Are Blacks for Trump


October 31, 2016

Ah, Halloween, I love it. You can go around with an orange face and no one notices.

You may not know this, but my friend Vladimir “Go, Baby DonDon, Go” Putin calls black people “Negroidniks.” I am proud to call them My African-American bros. And there are so many Blacks for Trump, almost enough to start a What Have You Got to Lose? basketball league.

My favorite African-American is Dr. Ben “Can I Make You a Fruit Salad?” Carson. But you may not know who’s number two. Sit yourself down, grab a bucket of fried chicken and meet Michael the Black Man.

That’s the name he’s given himself, it’s not me being racist. I don’t have a racist bone in my woman-respecting, Latino-loving body. Michael is the good guy who distributes the Blacks for Trump signs at my rallies. Usually, the signs are held by angry white people because most African Americans are too busy campaigning to attend my rallies.

Michael’s website Gods2.com is very bold. The home page says “Hillary will start World War 3 Judgement [sic] Day to Kill All Black Women of America.” Michael, it’s mighty white of you to say that, and Baby DonDon appreciates it.

The site also says Obama and Hillary are in the Illuminati and that Hillary is in the KKK. Hey, folks, Baby DonDon can sling mud with the best, but I can’t sling it nearly as far as Michael can.

Michael calls President Obama “The Beast” and the AntiChrist. On the radio he rants about “Demon-crats.” I wish more people did that.

Michael used to be a member of the murderous Yahweh ben Yahweh black supremacist cult. He beat two conspiracy to commit murder charges, and he even got off when his brother testified that he stabbed someone in the eye with a stick.

Like a small, fast black guy returning a kickoff, my Michael is elusive!

But isn’t it great that this guy, this Afro-American, comes to my rallies and distributes signs he has paid for himself? He’s such a terrific role model, almost a black Baby DonDon.

Makes me tingle just to think about it.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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