Where Did Daddy Go?

July 8, 2017

So some of you mouth-breathers are upset that Ivanka sat in for me today at the G-20. Guess that means you get worried when someone other than me represents the country.

Isn’t that special.

So what was I up to? I had to leave the meeting to do something personal. Something disgusting. Involving a bathroom. And bodily fluids. And blood.

And Mike Pence.

But, Christ, it was only a meeting about Africa, an entire continent without a single nuclear weapon. Hmm, maybe I’ll change that. The country and I could make a fortune.

Have to go relieve Ivanka now before she steers the ship of state into a ditch. Or whatever.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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