What Would Mao Do?


October 4, 2017

Great, Rex the Wonder Dog, just great. You come out and deny almost everything in the NBC News report—except the part about calling me a “moron.” Now, I’m relatively new to politics, but it seems as if you just confirmed that you called me a moron. You kind of re-moroned me.

Of the three great dictators—Stalin, Hitler and Mao—only Mao took a hands-on interest in torture. When Mao didn’t like someone, he enjoyed watching an assistant shove a red-hot poker up the poor guy’s rectum. I want to keep Rex as secretary of state, but I also want him to suffer. So, I ask you, should Rex get one skewer or two?

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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