Not Lookin’ Good, Puerto Rico

October 1, 2017

Carmen YouLose Cruz, the mayor of San Juan, has a horrible name and a face that’s even worse. Yes, I know she has a sham marriage to Alfredo Carrasquillo, but Super Baby DonDon is smart enough to know she would really prefer to be living on the island of Lesbos. She was listening to Melissa Etheridge records when the hurricane hit.

But fear not, Mayor Carmen “Lyin’ Ted” Cruz. A carton of flannel shirts is on its way.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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