I’m Giving Away Money! (Maybe.)


September 20, 2016

First, I want to pass on a Russian recipe for Penne Putinesca. Bring two quarts of borscht to a boil, then put in a pound of penne. Boil for 9 minutes. Heads up, journalists: my friend Vlad says this dish is to die for. Nostrovia!

Folks, you have made Baby DonDon very popular. This site now has over 9,700 Likes and I will give $10,000 to the 10,000th Liker. Go Baby DonDon! I will give away this money, that you can believe.

First, of course, I have to find somebody–hey, Vince McMahon–to contribute $20,000 to the Trump Foundation. If I can do that, I’ll use half the money to buy a portrait of me and perhaps give away the rest. Yes, I might give it to you! If I have no pressing need for the cash. (Hairspray??)

And, if it’s not you, I might give it to some other dweeb. Or not. You never know with me. Hey, I never know with me. (Except the check won’t come from my personal account, that I can tell you.)

So it is possible I will give away this money. There is a chance. Faint one, yes, but real. Believe me. Or not.

Why can’t I commit to giving away the money? Because it’s MONEY, asshole. I didn’t get rich by giving away money.

Baby DonDon does not like to share.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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